


A Love Tragedy

by allixiler



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:14:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28961529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allixiler/pseuds/allixiler
Summary: 6 months after Simon's death, you still find it hard to cope.
Relationships: Simon (Walking Dead: Saviors)/Original Character(s), Simon (Walking Dead: Saviors)/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	A Love Tragedy

To this day, you still struggled with what had happened. It was so confusing to you that Simon had to go do what he did. Things were just fine as him being the right-hand man. So, why the hell did he feel the need to overthrow Negan for his position? As long as you had known him, Simon was always envious of the power that Negan had. At one point or another, everyone at The Sanctuary wished they were him.

You never expected Simon to actually make an attempt for the ultimate leadership. You remember that day like it was yesterday. Almost six months later and it was just as clear as it was when it happened. You would forever hold a grudge against Negan for it. You couldn’t deny it. How could you? Negan killed him, for God’s sakes. That’s not something you could ever forgive him for. Regardless of how bad Simon’s mistake really was.

The image of Simon’s throat at the hands of Negan would forever haunt you. Even in your sleep you couldn’t get away from it for the nightmares were just as vivid. You remember hearing the ruckus and noise of the fight from two floors up. While fights between saviors weren’t uncommon, this one didn’t sit right with you. You realized your gut feeling was correct when you saw Simon throwing swings and thrashing out at Negan. You watched from the deck above the ground floor in horror, completely frozen in your place.

That was your biggest regret. 

You should’ve stopped the fight and saved Simon’s life. But he would never have his high ranking again. Simon would hold it against you. That was what you told yourself for consolation anyway. You watched the punches thrown. You watched Negan slowly begin to overtake Simon. You watched Negan’s hands go around his throat. You heard his neck snap. You watched him die. Right in front of you.

You had raced down to the floor afterwards. Falling to your knees and sobbing over his dead body. You couldn’t understand how someone could kill another human being, knowing that they had someone they cared about and someone that cared about them. Negan watched you cry over him and he watched you cry the days to follow. He watched you slowly become more distant with everything around you. He watched you completely detach yourself.

Knowing his body could turn at any moment, you had to be literally dragged away away from him. You and Simon were the item that everyone knew about. He bragged about you to others. You blushed about him to the wives. All of that was gone in an instant. 

You couldn’t bear to go look at him once he had turned and was chained to the fence. Because that wasn’t Simon. That wasn’t the man you loved. It took about 2 months before things became somewhat normal again. You eventually began working again and taking on your normal workload, but you still had that gray cloud hovering over you at all times. You rarely spoke to anyone unless they spoke first. Your fiery personality fizzled out. You were just living out each monotonous day not really caring if you made it to the next one. Life was pointless without Simon by your side.

You definitely noticed that you were seeing a lot more of Negan than before. He seemed to be going out of his way to see you. It was strange, considering that you already saw him daily and now you were seeing him multiple times in a day. One night, he came into the infirmary as you were closing up. He stood at the doorway until you noticed him;

“Hello,” You greeted blankly.

“Hi,” He said offering his flashy grin. When you didn’t say anything else, he continued; “You gonna let me in or am I gonna stand here all night?”

“Oh. Sure. Come in.” You said flatly, ushering for him to enter.

He walked in and you noted that he didn’t have Lucille with him. That’s when you realized that you hadn’t turned in the patient charts for the day yet;

“Forms are over there.” You said referring to the stack of sheets on the counter.

He looked at the papers, but shook his head;

“That’s not why I’m here,” He said honestly; “I wanted to talk to you.”

You stopped what you were doing at the cabinet and turned to look at him. He looked uneasy, which was strange for him. In fact, his entire demeanor was a little softer. He jumped to sit on the exam table and he got right to it;

“I know Simon dying has you messed up. It’s hard to get over that shit. But I did what I did because you have to fight for what you want nowadays,” He said; “I didn’t get rid of him just because I felt like it.”

You felt like you should’ve angry. But you weren’t. You were just numb, which was even scarier;

“You act like you had to kill him. You didn’t have to kill him. Was a bad beating not enough?” You asked.

Negan sighed heavily. He knew what you were saying. You had every right to scream in his face. He had mentally prepared for that sort of thing beforehand. 

“If I didn’t put an end to it, he would eventually get the courage to try that shit on me again. I would never let him be my right-hand man again.” He admitted.

What was this? A confession? Truth was, Negan felt guilty. Not for killing Simon, but for sucking the life out of somebody who didn’t deserve it. He had taken away the one good thing in your life and in total had stripped you of a purpose.

“Is that all?” You asked, not changing your tone; “You want to tell me how sorry you are? That doesn’t make this right. You knew what he meant to me.”

Although he wouldn’t say it, he felt ashamed. It wasn’t often that Negan thought twice about a decision he had made. He never really cared about how his decisions affected others. However, you were different in his eyes. You were arguably the most important savior that he had. You minded your business and rarely ever questioned his authority. So, it was only natural that he felt bad that you were so heavily affected.

“I know. I know I can’t bring him back and I’ll be perfectly fucking honest, I wish I could just for your sake,” He confessed; “But is there anything I can do for you?”

While it was obvious that Negan was at fault for Simon’s death, you often wondered why Simon did it. He knew what he was risking by throwing down with Negan. He risked losing you. So why did he still decide it was worth it? It made you question how he felt about you sometimes. You had so many questions. If he truly loved you, then would it have mattered whether or not he was the one on top? In his final moments, did he think of you? The second he knew it was the end, did he regret leaving you behind? Unfortunately, you’d never get these answers. You’d spend the rest of your life wondering and yearning for the man you loved.

You nodded slightly at his offer;

“Can I ask you something?” You asked quietly.

“By all means, ask away,” He replied.

You bit your lip softly, exhaling gently, and close to crying;

“Do you think he could’ve loved me?”

Negan softened even more and his eyes diverted to the floor. He debated with his answer. If he told you the truth, it would absolutely break your heart. But if he lied, then it would too. So, he went with the truth. 

“Do I think he loved you?” He echoed; “Yeah. I know he did. You were the best thing that ever happened to him.”

You listened, tears streaming your cheeks as you looked down at the floor. You couldn’t even look at him.

“You were his everything. And I really am sorry that I took that away.” He apologized.

Never did you think you’d hear those words come out of his mouth. You wished that it was under better circumstances. Your heart was breaking all over again. Silence filled the room now, but it was the loudest thing you’d ever heard. It was clear that there was nothing else to be said. You didn’t want him to say anything else. Negan stood up from the table and gave your shoulder a sincere squeeze before walking out of the room.

Losing your soulmate is the hardest thing to imagine. No one ever wants to think about it. You never truly understand how it feels until it happens. You just wished that you never would’ve known that feeling. Simon always told you that he wished everyday that he would be able to die before you. So that he’d never have to live a day without you. Oh God, you knew what he meant by that now.

You closed up the infirmary after a few minutes of quiet. You turned off all the lights and locked the door behind you. You could leave work and the day’s problems behind. But you couldn’t leave your broken heart to die with it.

No matter how hard you tried.

So, that was the official end of your love story. It was a tragedy of sorts. You never got married and ran off into the sunset to live a life of bliss. That was the harsh reality of it all.

Sometimes, there just is no happily ever after.


End file.
